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misfits

Glenn Danzig Bitch Slapped by Judge: No Hot Topic Money for You!

The Hot Topic-Misfits war is finally over, and (SURPRISE) life just handed another bitter lemon to Glenn Danzig.

The former Misfits singer won’t be getting a single cent from that enormous Hot Topic merchandising deal — despite suing his former bandmate and arch nemesis Jerry Only for a chunk of the empire – because, as justice would have it, a judge has officially tossed Danzig’s lawsuit out of court.

(Check out Noisey’s full article on all the pathetic Misfits memorabilia currently being hawked by HT.)

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RE-TOX broke the Glenn Danzig lawsuit story a couple months ago. Danzig sued Only in April, but on August 6th, a U.S. district judge in California dismissed Danzig’s lawsuit on grounds the suit was an embarrassing failure.

The primary failure, according to the court order, was that Danzig failed to state a claim upon which relief may be granted (i.e. his arguments just weren’t up to snuff). Danzig had argued that Only violated the terms of a 1994 contract, in which Danzig, Jerry, and others agreed to share ownership of the Misfits trademarks (including the band’s iconic “Fiend Skull” logo) for merchandising purposes.

Danzig claimed Only also violated the agreement by threatening to withhold licensing rights from merchandisers if they did business with Danzig at all.

As a result, Danzig said Only owed him a fat check. Yadda yadda.

Unfortunately, according to the judge, Danzig failed to allege which terms of the 1994 agreement Only actually breached. In the ruling, the judge notes that the merchandise provision of the 1994 agreement grants each co-owner (Danzig, Only, whoever) the “non-exclusive right to conduct merchandising and to exploit other rights relating to the use and exploitation of the name Misfits.” AND that each will retain 100% of what each earns individually from exploiting these merchandising rights.

The best part: the agreement even states that neither Only nor Danzig has any obligation to pay the other person in the event one makes more money than the other.

Translation: Danzig doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

As for Danzig’s allegation that Only employed unsavory business tactics – threatening retailers to boycott Danzig — the judge was unsympathetic.

Danzig could still amend his complaint — and, who knows, he might — but for now it’s game, set, match.

Faizon Love male nurse

Faizon Love Male Nurse? Actor Sued Over 1987 Nursing School Loan — He Wanted to Be a Focker

You can milk just about anything with nipples, but you can’t milk the U.S. government. Eight years before his big break in the 1995 hit “Friday,” 19-year-old Faizon Love wanted to be a male nurse, but he couldn’t afford his student bills. Now, his past is coming back to haunt him in a big way, in the form of a lawsuit.

Uncle Sam, on behalf of the Department of Education, has sued Love over an outstanding student loan debt from 1987. The principal allegedly totals $1,435.13, but adding a quarter century of interest, the United States of America says Love now owes the government all of $4,309.27 plus whatever interest has continued to accrue.

According to official documents, Love filed the federal student loan application in NYC on August 17, 1987, asking for $2,625 to help cover his tuition at the American Business Institute in Queens.

The American Business Institute — in addition to providing home healthcare services — specializes in training people to become home healthcare professionals, such as nurses and home health aides.

It’s unclear if Love ever finished the program, but according to Uncle Sam, he never settled his bills and now it’s time to pay the piper.

Bonus: here’s Faizon’s butt.

faizon_naked

jerryonly_large

Misfits’ Jerry Only Demands Dismissal of Danzig Lawsuit: He’ s Out of Touch with Reality

The merch war continues! Misfits bassist Jerry Only is taking Glenn Danzig to task — after the former Misfits singer sued Only for allegedly cutting him out of a lucrative merchandising deal with Hot Topic — claiming the Danzig lawsuit isn’t just too little too late, it has ZERO BASIS IN FACT.

Jerry (along with his company Cyclopian Music) filed the new legal documents in California district court last week, asking a judge to dismiss the Danzig lawsuit in its entirety with prejudice. In the process, Jerry suggests what many people have suspected for years: Danzig has utterly lost touch with reality.

RE-TOX broke the Danzig lawsuit story last month. Danzig sued Jerry Only for breach of contract, claiming Only registered trademarks for everything Misfits-related in 2000 behind Danzig’s back, misappropriating exclusive ownership over the marks for himself, including the band’s iconic “Fiend Skull” logo.

danzig

By doing so, Danzig — who describes himself in the lawsuit as the “creative heart of the Misfits” who first thought of using skeletal figures and motifs in the band’s performances – claims Jerry violated a 1994 contract, in which Danzig, Jerry, and others agreed to share ownership of the Misfits trademarks for merchandising purposes.

Despite the 1994 agreement, Danzig claims Only secretly entered into deals with various merchandisers, including Hot Topic, after registering the Misfits trademarks, and cut Danzig out of any potential profits in the process. Danzig says Jerry even threatened to withhold licensing rights from merchandisers if they did business with Danzig at all.

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After Danzig’s lawsuit was filed, Only’s attorney issued a statement, claiming, “Danzig’s lawsuit can only be described as a sour grapes tantrum based on outrageous allegations, the majority of which are completely false, while others are ill conceived and grossly misguided.”

Now Jerry Only and his acrobatic lawyer have taken it one step further, filing legal documents that take issue with Danzig’s allegations for several reasons, namely: 1) Danzig waited too long to file his lawsuit, 2) Danzig never actually attempted to use the Misfits trademarks, and 3) Danzig pretty much made up all his arguments without providing anything even remotely resembling evidence.

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Only claims Danzig offers zero facts to back up his ludicrous claims, such as the claim that he created the “Fiend Skull” logo. Moreover, Only says Danzig’s arguments are so vague and immaterial, they’re nearly impossible to respond to. Only uses the example of Danzig’s alleged deal with Hot Topic, which Danzig has accused Only of sabotaging. Only says Danzig never shows proof he even had a deal with Hot Topic in the works, or how Only played a role in it falling to pieces.

For Only’s part, he cites a 6-year statute of limitations in New York which alone would bar Danzig’s breach of contract claim (Cyclopian applied for Misfits trademarks in 2000 and 2004, meaning Danzig filed his lawsuit at least 4 years too late). Secondly, Jerry argues trademark ownership takes effect only when someone actually uses the trademarks, which Jerry plainly did and Danzig did not.

Those are three main arguments. Only makes a bunch more, but truthfully, they’re so rooted in legal technicalities, it’s hard to tell who’s actually screwing whom.

Nevertheless, both Only and Danzig have resorted to such legal pettiness that it pretty much doesn’t matter anymore. It’s hard to pick sides when they’re both assholes. Also, we can probably all agree that Hot Topic Misfits merch should be set aflame on principle alone.

No matter what, here’s hoping Danzig files a manic sternly-worded response. Because this is getting too good.

Juggalos Gang

Juggalos Gang Status Federal Mistake? FBI Admits It Never Investigated ICP Fan Base Before Placing It on Gang List

The FBI has just admitted it never formally investigated Insane Clown Posse‘s fan base — known as the Juggalos – before labeling the group a gang in 2011, an admission that raises serious questions about the reliability of its bi-annual “National Gang Threat Assessment” report.

Representing the FBI, U.S. Attorney Barbara McQuade wrote in her response to the lawsuit filed earlier this year by ICP, “There was no FBI investigation of the Juggalos for suspected gang activity in preparation for the 2011 [National Gang Intelligence Center] Report, and no FBI investigation otherwise underlying the decision to include the identification of the Juggalos as a gang in the 2011 NGIC Report.”

In the documents, filed in April in Michigan district court, McQuade adds, “The analyst who drafted the Juggalos section of the 2011 NGIC Report did not consider or rely on any FBI-generated investigative information or records. ”

ICP sued the FBI and the Department of Justice in January over the classification of Juggalos as a gang in the 2011 National Gang Threat Assessment, demanding the Federal agencies expunge the classification on grounds it unfairly characterized a large group of innocent people as violent criminals.

In the federal report, the Juggalos were labeled a “a loosely-organized hybrid gang” that is “rapidly expanding into many US communities.”

Juggalos are listed in the report alongside Mexican drug cartels and human traffickers.

ICP was livid over the classification, immediately criticizing the report in a news conference, saying, “We’re not a gang. We’re a family.”

Shortly after suing, the law firm representing ICP submitted a request under the Freedom of Information Act to FBI Headquarters for all records regarding the investigation behind the FBI’s classification of Juggalos as a gang.

And this is where the FBI’s embarrassing response comes in.

In addition to McQuade’s admission that there actually was no FBI investigation behind the devastating “gang” classification, which allegedly led to endless unwarranted harassment of innocent Juggalos by law enforcement across the country, the U.S. Attorney lays out the shockingly willy-nilly information gathering that went into the 2011 federal gang report.

Here’s how McQuade describes the troubling functionality of the National Gang Intelligence Center, the FBI-established agency tasked with putting the report together:

“The NGIC receives gang-related information and intelligence from state, local, and other law enforcement partners on an ongoing basis. Based on the information and intelligence it receives in this regard, the NGIC identifies law enforcement trends to include in the bi-annual [National Gang Threat Assessment] reports.”

Ahem. “Trends.”

McQuade continues, “The purpose of the bi-annual reports is simply to report trends in intelligence and information that the NGIC receives from its law enforcement partners. It is not the purpose of the reports to affirm or negate the accumulated information and intelligence [emphasis added].”

In other words, according to McQuade, the National Gang Threat Assessment report, issued bi-annually under the banner of the FBI, is not obligated to provide verification for any of its unqualified, potentially reckless blanket statements — in this case, that a large population of mostly harmless social outcasts is a dangerous, criminal gang.

More troublingly, McQuade says the claims in the report are based exclusively on allegations from a relatively small number of disparate state and local law enforcement entities. According to the report, only 4 states even recognize the Juggalos as a gang (Utah, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Arizona).

McQuade writes, “The file [of Juggalo records] contained information from state and local law enforcement officials who reported that their jurisdictions did not officially recognize Juggalos as a gang, as well as information provided by state and local law enforcement officials whose jurisdictions recognized Juggalos as a gang.”

According to McQuade, only ONE local agency provided a police report about specific criminal activities involving Juggalos.

One.

Let us repeat. The decision to classify Juggalos nationally as a dangerous gang was based entirely on information from a small number of state and local law enforcement officials, by McQuade’s own admission: “The NGIC analyst considered and relied exclusively on [this information] in drafting the Juggalos portion of the 2011 Report.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, the 2011 report also included this flagrantly fear-mongering photo.

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More like the Federal Bureau of Non-Investigation.

Whoop whoop.

AAfrontfull

American Apparel Racist — Clothing Company Sued for Racial Profiling

Black women can’t shop at American Apparel without being accused of shoplifting and then humiliated by police. At least, that’s what one Philadelphia woman claims, and now she’s suing an AA clothing store for more than $150,000.

Lisa Horner filed the lawsuit against a local American Apparel store (3661 Walnut Street) on Wednesday, claiming she was racially profiled last year by white AA employees at that location.

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According to the lawsuit, Lisa (the only black person in the store) was trying on clothes in the dressing room last November, minding her business, and when she exited, she was immediately detained by Philadelphia police officers for shoplifting.

While she was in the dressing room, Lisa claims store employees had falsely informed police she’d stolen a shirt by replacing a new shirt with an old one.

While she was detained in the store, Lisa claims police demanded to see her ID and then searched her in front of several other customers. She claims the police found nothing and she was ultimately let go, but not without lasting emotional damage.

Lisa claims she was left feeling humiliated, angry, and depressed after the experience. She’s suing for at least $150,000 to make things right.

And it’s not the first time the L.A. based clothing company has been accused of racism — bizarre racism at that.

Aside from the fact that AA’s hypersexual ad campaigns obviously skew toward fair-skinned girls,  an ex-manager at one location once said she’d specifically been instructed NOT to hire “trashy” black girls. Instead, the manager said she was instructed to hire “classy” black girls, explicitly making race a determining factor in staffing decisions. Why wouldn’t AA simply have a policy against “trashy” girls in general? Why specify black? Who knows.

Then there’s that time AA was accused of using Mexican people as fashion accessories.

mexicanAA

Then there’s that time AA published this ad featuring a 22-year-old Bangladeshi model named Maks for its “Made in Bangladesh” campaign. She was apparently fine with it, but the ad left a bad taste in people’s mouths for various reasons, mostly for its flagrant exploitation of publicity surrounding recent Bangladesh factory disasters.

bangladeshAA

And let’s not even get into American Apparel’s ugly people policy.

At this point, you’d think AA’s been in enough hot water that its employees would just shut the fuck up already.

Unless, of course, Lisa was actually stealing shit.

sterling

Prison Prankster Files Bogus Donald Sterling Lawsuit — When White People Sweat, They Smell Like Wet Bologna

When white people sweat, they smell like wet bologna. Allen Iverson killed Bill Cosby‘s son. Carmelo Anthony routinely gave white kids wedgies in high school. The movie “White Men Can’t Jump” unfairly portrays white men as subpar athletes. Black NBA players orchestrated the Donald Sterling audio leak in order to steal the Clippers from him.

These are just a handful of allegations in a bogus lawsuit filed last month by legendary troll and Pennsylvania inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, the Guinness Book of World Records’ “most litigious man in history,” famous for filing 2,600+ fake lawsuits involving celebrities like Selena Gomez , George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, Martha Stewart, and more.

In the latest suit, mailed from Riches’ prison facility in Bellafonte, PA, Riches pretends to be Donald Sterling (hilariously misspelled in the lawsuit as “Ronald Sterling”) demanding a restraining order against nearly every big-name black player in the NBA … ever … including Chris Paul, LeBron James, Patrick Ewing, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Durant, Chris Bosh, Mookie Blaylock, Spud Webb, Shawn Kemp, Allen Iverson, Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, and Lamar Odom. All told, the lawsuit lists nearly 100 defendants.

According to the lawsuit, written from Sterling’s perspective, the NBA and its black players are using him as a “political scapegoat,” using racism allegations as a way to steal the L.A. Clippers from him.
The lawsuit states, “Magic Johnson is conspiring with Commissioner Adam Silver to take the L.A. Clippers from Donald Sterling based on false racial allegations. If Mr. Sterling was a racist, the NAACP would not have him being honored with a lifetime achievement award. Obviously, they recognize this is all lies to allow the Black players to steal this team from him.”

And that’s when the lawsuit gets even crazier. Riches says Silver loves to laugh at Magic Johnson’s racist jokes about white people, including Johnson’s hilarious observation that white people smell like wet bologna when they sweat. (For the record, we can say with 99.999999% certainty, that Magic Johnson has never said anything about white people smelling like bologna.)

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The prison prankster also resurrects the infamous 1991 Charles Barkley incident, when the NBA star spat into the crowd during a game and accidentally hit an 8-year-old girl (who happened to be white). Riches says there’s a double standard of racism whereby a white player would have received much harsher penalties if he spat on an 8-year-old black girl.

The entire lawsuit is blatant race-baiting trollery, designed to stir up as much controversy as possible.

This is where Riches shines, and where, since his initial incarceration for fraud in 2006, he’s routinely fooled overeager and under-vetted media outlets into running fatuous stories about celebrities involved in utterly laughable legal situations, like Justin Bieber stealing Selena Gomez’ dad’s Amex for penis enlargement surgery, and George W. Bush acting as a time traveler who “conspired with Duke of Normandy at Battle of Hastings 1066 A.D. to pervert the English Dictionary and Law.”

In an old lawsuit against Allen Iverson, Riches claimed Iverson hired him to be his personal trainer and then offered Riches money in exchange for sex. Riches said he needed a hair transplant, so he acquiesced to Iverson’s demands and thereby became Iverson’s “white juicy fruit.”

Riches is relentless, too. We got our hands on another lawsuit, filed just last week in Nevada district court, in which several famous prisoners (including alleged Aurora shooter James Holmes, convicted Oklahoma City bombing accomplice Terry Nichols, and convicted 1993 World Trade Center bomber Ramzi Yousef) express their undying support for Floyd Mayweather Jr. in the boxer’s legal battle against a random New Orleans bar. The lawsuit appears to be Riches’ handiwork, judging by the handwriting and the inclusion of the intervenor “Jonathan Rich,” although we can’t say for certain.

The lawsuit describes Holmes, Nichols, and Yousef as Mayweather’s “biggest fans,” and even though we hope that’s true, the lawsuit itself is as bogus as they get.

But why would Riches do this? In a 2013 interview, he told Details magazine that filing absurd lawsuits is his art and he’s not going to stop any time soon: “I’m going to continue to file suits … and make fun of the judicial system … It’s tagging. It’s spray-painting. I’m on these dockets forever.”

“It’s my own twisted entertainment,” he said. “Because I have a right. And no one can stop me.”

And even though judges and legal experts around the country believe Riches’ hobby has become an enormous distraction (not to mention a drain of resources) for the court systems, it seems he’s right.

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Kendrick Lamar

Kendrick Lamar House — Rapper Drops Totally Reasonable $524,000 On Un-Rappiest Crib in California

Kendrick Lamar, arguably the hottest rapper out right now, is starting a revolutionary new trend in hip hop: buying a house that doesn’t look like it was once owned by a billionaire drug lord.

According to official records, Lamar recently purchased a modest 4-bedroom home in Eastvale, CA for $523,500, a far cry from his hip hop brethren posted up in multimillion-dollar mansions in L.A.’s ritzy Bel Air neighborhood or Atlanta’s Buckhead.

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The lot where the house is located is listed at roughly 7,800 square feet, so the house is much smaller — and it’s also located a good hour east of Los Angeles, smack in the pleasantly affordable middle of nowhere (relatively speaking).

It’s a pretty big statement, even if Kendrick didn’t intend to make it. In the rap world, Kendrick stands virtually alone in his rejection of material temptations.

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Take Tyga for example. The 24-year-old reportedly purchased a 9,280 square foot mansion in L.A.’s wealthy Calabasas neighborhood for $6.5 MILLION in 2012. Tyga is two years younger than Kendrick, and on top of that, GQ never named Tyga “Rapper of the Year.”

And don’t even get us started on Rick Ross and his new “Rich Forever” chin tattoo, which has undoubtedly cursed him to be poor again very soon.

Rick Ross Chin Tattoo

Of course, Kendrick’s simple home purchase isn’t all that shocking. He has previously expressed indignation over unflattering rap stereotypes (the heavy drinking, the drugs, the womanizing, the ridiculous over-the-top lifestyles). Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, the head of Kendrick’s label TDE Records, even blasted the GQ “Rapper of the Year” article for dwelling upon rap stereotypes and the “drama” of hip hop instead of on Kendrick’s accomplishments. A fair point.

In his infamous “Control” verse, Kendrick criticizes his fellow rappers for losing their focus on music and obsessing over their image instead: “I’m uncoachable, I’m unsociable, fuck y’all clubs / Fuck y’all pictures, your Instagram can gobble these nuts” and later “I ain’t rockin’ no more designer shit / White T’s and Nike Cortez, this red Corvette’s anonymous.”

Kendrick (reportedly) doesn’t even drink or smoke, so it’s unsurprising his austere lifestyle choices would extent to his real estate investments.

Without even trying, Kendrick is setting a positive example for other rappers, but as long as rappers like Rick Ross keep spitting about Maybachs and drugging women before having sex with their unconscious bodies, Kendrick faces an uphill battle.

But one probably worth fighting. Click below for more pics of Kendrick’s new digs.

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Mario Chalmers Child Support

Mario Chalmers Child Support — Miami Heat Guard Ordered to Pay $10,000 a Month to Queen Elizabeth

Miami Heat‘s starting point guard Mario Chalmers would rather spend more money on vacations every month than on his baby daughter, this according to new court documents, so the judge in his child support case has ordered an increase in the NBA star’s monthly payments … from $2,600 to $10,000.

Oh yeah, before we forget. The daughter in question is literally named Queen Elizabeth. Now back to the story.

Queen Elizabeth’s mother Brittany Burrough filed court documents last year asking to order Chalmers to pay more child support, claiming Chalmers’ lifestyle had become grossly lavish ever since he signed his gargantuan 2011 contract with the Heat (3-year $12 million) which increased his monthly salary from roughly $70,000 to $400,000.

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And she’s right: the judge notes Chalmers currently spends roughly $22,000 per month on housing, $10,000 per month on his personal assistant, $5,000 per month on vacations, and $1,600 per month on clothing and various other expenses.

Meanwhile, Burrough, Queen Elizabeth’s primary caregiver, lives with her sister, was recently laid off, and earns only $1,000 a month. Not exactly the same league.

On top of that, Burrough claimed she wanted to get additional education (for her sake as well as for her daughter’s) but she had neither the time nor money to do so. The documents also show Chalmers rarely even sees QE.

Considering all this, the judge ruled it was only fair to give Burrough a massive raise in monthly child support.

Chalmers was also ordered to pay retroactive child support from the date Burrough filed her request for additional child support: a total of $155,000.

God save the Queen.

dmx

DMX Bankruptcy Fiasco: Rapper Ordered to Pay $244,000 Over Botched Comeback Tour

Pay attention, kids. This is what happens when you screw up your bankruptcy: your creditors hunt you down in court with a vengeance and nail you for $244,000 that you pretty much definitely don’t have. Case in point, DMX. Poor, poor DMX.

According to new court documents, DMX was just ordered to pay the quarter-million dollar sum to a booking agency called Heavy Rotation, after the company sued the rapper in 2012 for torpedoing his own highly-anticipated international comeback tour.

According to HR’s lawsuit, DMX sabotaged the tour with his myriad legal problems (most notably, a passport lien stemming from unpaid child support). HR claimed it coughed up nearly $100,000 to help X deal with his issues, all so he could perform on the tour, but DMX continued to cause problems. Worst of all, DMX couldn’t get the lien lifted on his passport, so he was stuck in the U.S.

HR claimed it was subsequently forced to cancel the entire tour it had planned, a decision that cost the company $749,285, so it sued DMX for the full amount.

DMX then did what any broke person would do in that situation, he filed for bankruptcy last July. The HR lawsuit was placed on hold as a result. But not for long.

The judge in DMX’s bankruptcy eventually dismissed the rapper’s filing at the request of U.S. Trustee Tracy Hope Davis, citing legal noncompliance. Davis’ office accused Simmons of “obvious inconsistencies regarding his income and assets, rendering it impossible to ascertain his financial affairs.” Translation: DMX botched his paperwork.

HR didn’t miss a beat, pouncing on DMX as soon as the coast was clear. DMX failed to respond to HR’s renewed legal overtures, so the judge finally issued a default judgment against the rapper earlier this month for $244,325.60. And all of it could have been avoided if he just filed for bankruptcy correctly.

And that’s why you hire good lawyers, kids.

The irony of ironies: DMX is now touring internationally.

Tyler Shields, bloody death threat

Tyler Shields, Bloody Death Threat After Destroying Birkin

Tyler Shields, bloody death threat – the celebrity photographer has been inundated with death threats across the Internet in the wake of his recent Birkin-destroying photo shoot, during which he fed a $100,000 crocodile skin Hermes Birkin bag to an alligator, but the creepiest thing by far is this bloody letter he just found in his mailbox.

RE-TOX obtained images of the letter via a source connected to Shields. We reached out to Shields who confirmed the images’ veracity but didn’t want to comment further.

We are told Shields discovered the letter at his L.A. home on Saturday, just three days after RE-TOX posted behind-the-scenes video of the alligator shoot. It’s unclear if the blood is real or not.

The letter states, “Tyler Shields, I’m going to kill you and eat you. See you later alligator. You’ll never see me coming. P.S. You’ll make a great handbag!”

We’re told Shields has not contacted the police regarding the threat because “this kind of thing happens to him all the time.” His Facebook account is proof, littered with dozens of similar threats on his life stemming from the recent Birkin shoot. Some examples:

“Do you realize how many animals you could have saved in a shelter for what you did? How many families could be fed? This isn’t art, this is a narcisstic show of your own excesses. If you have a Birken that you can destroy then you are not living in the real world.”

“YOU ARE A DIGRACE OF A HUMAN BEING. YOUR ART IS PATHETIC AND POINTLESS. YOU ARE AN ALLEGATOR MURDERER AND SHOULD BE PUT BEHIND BARS WHERE YOU BELONG. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT MY LIFE’S MISSION TO SEE YOUR DEMISE. I HOPE YOU SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT IT WON’T LAST LONG. YOUR FUCKING DEAD MOTHER FUCKER.”

“I will feed you to an alligator you cock sucking faggot : )”

We’re not saying PETA was connected to this (not like PETA would publicly admit to being connected to a bloody death threat anyway) but just to cover our bases, we reached out to them for comment.